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I was cleaning up the harddrive last week, and ran into some old IRC logs I'd collected. It was an interesting look back, but mainly a case of 'gems in the rough'. I submitted the following to bash.org. As it turns out, I am not funny or interesting enough for bash. Then again, after 700k+ submissions, everything probably starts to blend in. I probably missed some sign or another. These entries are listed by bash's queue number".


bash.760522

[20:41] < Odd_Duck> bayou 77 EOC with an urgent to send.
[20:41] < Odd_Duck> Trying to get you on the telephone isis
[20:41] < Jayse> sounds...urgent
[20:42] < Odd_Duck> (should I be transcribing or is everybody on the scanner too?)
[20:42] < Jayse> i think everyone's on
[20:42] < Stevedogg> aren't there a few w/o sound?
[20:42] < Jayse> but...we'll find out
[20:42] < Stevedogg> yeah
[20:42] < Ripside> lost my scanner connection
[20:42] < Makir> why aren't they responding?
[20:43] < manos> EOC?
[20:43] < gumpish> =o
[20:43] < Odd_Duck> Emergency Ops command, I believe
[20:43] < Ripside> tyvm
[20:43] < manos> request to pick up babies
[20:43] < Jayse> baby pickup on I-10
[20:43] < Stevedogg> did they say picking up babiesA??
[20:43] < Jayse> 18 babies
[20:44] < Stevedogg> oh wow
[20:44] < Ripside> sounds like it
[20:44] < Odd_Duck> sweet jesus.
[20:44] < Makir> yep
[20:44] < Stevedogg> Doctors moving with them (18 babies)

bash.760523

[21:36] < NorCalMike> Kayla has a cute voice.
[21:36] < Bzzliteyr> kayla?
[21:36] < P_A_M> Yeah, who's Kayla?
[21:36] < Bzzliteyr> first or second voice on that one?
[21:36] < NorCalMike> First one.
[21:36] < Jayse> wasnt Kayla in "clan of the cave bear"?
[21:36] < P_A_M> heh, that was kayla
[21:36] < Deuce`> kayla sounds old
[21:36] < DeathCipris> see there kayla
[21:37] < P_A_M> I dunno, she probably WAS cute. That's a total cute-girl name. It's like the law

bash.760524

[22:29] < mojo_jojo> how do you sit in a line for *6 hours* to get gas?
[22:29] < P_A_M> damn
[22:29] < mojo_jojo> wouldn't you run out of gas before you get to the front of the line?
[22:29] < Stevedogg> I filled my tank yesterday
[22:29] < Stevedogg> doesn't burn much fuel idling I think
[22:29] < NorCalMike> mojo, you sort of turn the motor off...
[22:30] < mojo_jojo> you can turn the motor OFF?
[22:30] < mojo_jojo> (heh)

bash.760527

[22:05] < mojo_jojo> this is making me sick to my stomach
[22:06] < mojo_jojo> we can put a spacecraft on a moon orbiting saturn
[22:06] < mojo_jojo> but we can't get food and water to people in our own country fast enough to keep them alive
[22:06] < Nekodesu> it's hard to get supplies in when 90% of the city is under water people
[22:06] < cbm5> no one is FUCKING SHOOTING AT THE MOON LANDER
[22:06] < mojo_jojo> parachute
[22:07] < mojo_jojo> drop it out of a helicopter
[22:07] < sammawamma> where are they going out to eat at?
[22:07] < gumpish> Denny's
[22:07] < bossman> popeye's
[22:07] < cbm5> lol
[22:07] < Jayse> mmmmm dennys
[22:07] < bossman> mmm
[22:07] < DeathCipris> lol
[22:07] < Stevedogg> unless Denny's being evacted by Bulldog 3
[22:07] < bossman> love that chicken

bash.760529

[22:35] < P_A_M> this is easier with headphones
[22:35] < DeathCipris> yea it is
[22:35] < P_A_M> probably not pissing off my neighbors as much

bash.760532

[23:13] < yadfothgildl> the people in the dorm room next to me are having loud sex and banging the bed into the wall :( farkers...
[23:14] < Stevedogg> Yad yell "Make her call you Drew!!!"
< SandwichMan> lol...welcome to motel 6.
[23:14] < bossman> yad - queue up some cheezy 70's porno music and crank it
[23:14] < Stevedogg> wakachicka wakachicka
[23:14] < yadfothgildl> i'm thinking about it
[23:14] < bossman> bowwow
[23:14] < Stevedogg> or just yell HERPES!!!
[23:14] < Stevedogg> HE'S GOT HERPES!
[23:15] < yadfothgildl> peaches and cream, by beck is as close to bad pron sound tracks as we get
[23:15] *** Subliminal (~me@24-116-108-35.cpe.cableone.net) has joined #fark
[23:15] < Stevedogg> Subliminal!
[23:15] < MiX-MaN> waiting for conf to make sure the chopper is big enough
[23:15] < Stevedogg> Now the party is complete
[23:15] < yadfothgildl> it seems to be working.
[23:15] < bossman> party? where?
[23:15] < yadfothgildl> in the dorm next to me

bash.760535

[23:42] < dreek99> bush can crash a segway...how the hell is he supposed to run a country?
[23:42] < mojo_jojo> I don't trust anyone who can't eat a table and work a tv remote at the same time.
[23:42] < mojo_jojo> I mean a pretzel
[23:42] < karmasore> eat a table wtf lol!
[23:42] < Stevedogg> eat a pretzel or eat a table?
[23:42] < Sparhawk_> heheheh
[23:42] < Stevedogg> lol
[23:43] < dreek99> eat a table...maybe thats why he chocked..splinters suck
[23:43] < Stevedogg> I get those two words mixed up all the time
[23:43] < Sparhawk_> mmmmm..... table-riffic
[23:43] < mojo_jojo> yeah I don't know what happened there
[23:43] < dreek99> mmm...i'd like a bear and a bowl of tables
[23:43] < mojo_jojo> I don't know how I got "table" out of "pretzel"
[23:43] < indstrialvam> mmm salted tables


bash.760539

[01:57] < Venge> DEFENDER TACO!
[01:57] < Venge> and DEFENDER FIVE!
[01:58] < JimJam> defender taco, that rules
[01:58] < mediaphile> alternate taco
[01:58] < mediaphile> defender 5, defender 5, this is alternate taco
[01:58] < Venge> defender taco, say again...
[01:58] < Venge> roger, defender 5 are you trying to put diseal fule into generators or light sets
[01:59] < Venge> These people said we can do it, we just need a fuel spout
[01:59] < Venge> lmao, he's telling them to stop
[02:00] < Venge> because people who know how to pour fuel are coming in an hour

bash.760540

[01:49] < mediaphile> brb
[01:49] *** mediaphile has quit IRC (Quit: Chatzilla 0.9.68.5 [Firefox 1.0.6/20050716])
[01:49] *** mediaphile (~medA9482DD.B2A519FE.comcast.net) has joined #fark
[01:49] < mediaphile> ahhh, much better
[01:51] < cbm5> you eat her out but she only give you a hand job
[01:51] < bossman> okay i didn't need to hear that
[01:51] < mediaphile> only 3 fingers, though, cbm
[01:51] < cbm5> meh
[01:51] < mediaphile> it was a 7 finger discount
[01:52] < cbm5> you got change for a five....
[01:52] < mediaphile> funny, that sounds oddly similiar to what your mom asked for last night
[01:52] < bossman> BAM the obligatory mom reference
[01:52] < mediaphile> well, without the discount
[01:52] < bossman> but..i got a coupon
[01:52] < mediaphile> oh i got a million of 'em
[01:53] < mediaphile> i'm writing a book

bash.760541

[02:02] < Venge> i've been talking to some chicks in my dorm for most of the night
[02:02] < Venge> you pick up their habits after a while
[02:02] < cbm5> fuck them in their slutty asses
[02:03] < mediaphile> if by 'chicks' you mean 'lefty' and 'righty', i believe you venge
< SandwichMan> three cheers for chicks in the dorm!
[02:03] < Venge> I can't play with righty in the dorm
[02:03] < Venge> I have a roommate
[02:03] < Nekodesu> what bout lefty?
[02:03] < Nekodesu> lefty is my silent bastard
[02:04] < Venge> lefty is too shy :(
[02:04] < mediaphile> 'the stranger'
[02:04] < Nekodesu> lefty has social problems

bash.760544

[02:31] < luffliffloaf> i still cant all of a sudden get these CNN vids to work
[02:31] < mediaphile> link?
[02:32] < MiX-MaN> cnn.com
[02:32] < mediaphile> oh

bash.760547

[00:26] < StrawberryJam> WOAH GUYS WHAT THE FUCK
[00:27] < StrawberryJam> INTELLIGENT DIALOGUE!?
[00:27] < StrawberryJam> INTELLIGENT DIALOGUE!?
[00:27] < StrawberryJam> FUCK THAT SHIT
[00:27] < StrawberryJam> I WANT BRIGHT COLORS
[00:27] < StrawberryJam> AND HALF NAKED MEN
[00:27] < StrawberryJam> FIGHTING
[00:27] < StrawberryJam> WITH MAGIC
[00:27] < StrawberryJam> GOD

bash.760550

[02:18] < StrawberryJam> I want to play a game.
[02:19] < Landstander> tic tac toe?
[02:19] < StrawberryJam> Fine.
[02:19] < StrawberryJam> Top right corner X
[02:19] < Landstander> top left corner o
[02:19] < StrawberryJam> Bottom left corner X
[02:20] < Landstander> shit you got me
[02:20] < Landstander> ill finish for finishings sake
[02:20] < Landstander> middle right o
[02:20] < StrawberryJam> bottom right X =[
[02:20] < Landstander> er
[02:20] < Landstander> eh whatever i misread your statement =(
[02:20] < Landstander> this game is better with a visual aid
[02:20] < StrawberryJam> I had you beat anyway.
[02:20] < Landstander> yeah

bash.760552

< DocReapah> Hitch.
[11:19] < DocReapah> What are you doing here.
[11:19] < DocReapah> Shouldn't you be off VIOLATING my McNamara?
[11:21] < ChibiLain> He's not here yet. o_O/
[11:21] < ChibiLain> Silly.
[11:21] < ChibiLain> Wait, _your_ McNamara?
[11:23] < DocReapah> Yeah you heard me.
[11:24] < ChibiLain> So all this heckling is because you're jealous since you wanna touch Steve?
[11:24] < DocReapah> Of course it is.
[11:24] < DocReapah> What did you think it was?
[11:25] < ChibiLain> Just you being a dick.
[11:25] < DocReapah> Oh Hitch.
[11:25] < DocReapah> You're such a card sometimes.
[11:26] < DocReapah> My greatest fantasy was to make love to someone who looked just like me before anyone else did
[11:26] < ChibiLain> I suppose you could just masturbate infront of a mirror..
[11:26] < DocReapah> and now it's gone and slipped away thanks to your feminine wiles!
[11:26] < DocReapah> You think I haven't done that thousands of times?
[11:27] < DocReapah> Come on woman.
[11:27] < DocReapah> Think. >_<

bash.760553

[11:28] < ChibiLain> I'm debating whether to wait here for him, or go to the art festival...
[11:30] < ChibiLain> Actually, I'm in a shitload of trouble with my friend and her family, so, I may just...wait.
[11:30] < DocReapah> WHY.
[11:32] < ChibiLain> Money. =X
[11:32] < DocReapah> =[
[11:32] < ChibiLain> I owe her $400 and her mom just called me mom today.
[11:32] < ChibiLain> my^
[11:33] < DocReapah> What the hell do you owe her $400 for?
[11:33] < ChibiLain> Plane tickets.
[11:35] < DocReapah> For WHERE/?
[11:35] < ChibiLain> California.
[11:36] < ChibiLain> I dunno what to do or say. =\
[11:36] < DocReapah> It all comes together.
[11:36] < ChibiLain> And I'm sure I probably look like a huge jackass.
[11:36] < DocReapah> Say you'll pay as soon as you can scronge up the money.
[11:36] < DocReapah> And that she needs to just shut her bitch mouth up.
< Salience> ...and in 20 years, you'll have a check ready to mail.
< Salience> heh
[11:37] < DocReapah> heh
[11:38] < ChibiLain> Yeah seriously.
[11:38] < ChibiLain> Honestly, not to pass the blame, but I'm hella broke. All my money goes to my car. gas, insurance, etc.
[11:38] < DocReapah> Tell that stupid whore that.
[11:43] < DocReapah> My insurance is going to be $200 a month. =[
[11:44] < ChibiLain> Mine will probably go up, courtesy of this speeding ticket.
[11:44] < DocReapah> I don't think that's good (?)
[11:45] < ChibiLain> Even so, my point is, I need to figure out what to do about this debt situation. =o
[11:45] < DocReapah> You need to make some extra money is the solution!
[11:49] < DocReapah> but that she has to understand what financial situation you're in
< Salience> and get a second job.
[11:49] < DocReapah> and to shut her fat flap of a mouth
< Salience> or even better...give blood/platelets for $$. hand her the money each time, and show how you're bleeding for her. hehe
*** Disconnected

bash.760557

[19:01] < DocReapah> rd
[19:02] < DocReapah> who is an actor
[19:02] < DocReapah> in lost
[19:02] < DocReapah> because i'm not going through 200 results for this show that may suck

bash.760560

[21:45] < Harlock> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
[21:45] < Harlock> Joe Crede first pitch swing
[21:45] < Harlock> way to go Crede
[21:45] < lstorm> crede is more senile
[21:45] < lstorm> that this geezer
[21:45] < Harlock> this old guy
[21:45] < Harlock> could bat
[21:45] < Harlock> better
[21:45] < lstorm> SIGN THAT MAN
[21:45] < CondimentKing> Wait a second
[21:45] < CondimentKing> Joe Crede
[21:45] < CondimentKing> hit a HR in that one game against the Indians
[21:45] < Harlock> CK
[21:46] < Harlock> Crede is terrible
[21:46] < Harlock> you can have him
[21:46] < Harlock> for David Wright
[21:46] < Harlock> equal trade
[21:46] < CondimentKing> No
[21:46] < CondimentKing> crede sucks
[21:46] < CondimentKing> david wright is the best player the mets have
[21:46] < lstorm> mets trade david wright, pedro martinez, and a $20 gift certificate to burger king for joe crede and a sky blue crayon

bash.760563

[23:20] < Par|Nye> when the male honey bee reaches his climax, he explodes
[23:20] < Drizzle> ...
[23:20] < Drizzle> Literally?
[23:21] < Par|Nye> yes
[23:21] < Drizzle> That's awesome.

bash.760564

[23:21] < Erikson> Village sucked BTW.
[23:22] < moreysurf8> yes
[23:22] < RD_Sleep> =[
[23:22] < moreysurf8> it did
[23:22] < RD_Sleep> I wish the Village had been awesome!!
[23:22] < Drizzle> IT PROBABLY DID BUT I'LL NEVER SEE IT
[23:22] < moreysurf8> PRICKLYBACKS
[23:22] < RD_Sleep> The concept and trailer of The Village had me incredibly excited for it.
[23:24] < Erikson> They revealed the BIG SURPRISE that everyone expects from Shayamalan now
[23:24] < RD_Sleep> The Village had two twists
[23:24] < Erikson> ...like 40 minutes before I expected them to
[23:24] < RD_Sleep> A good one that should have been saved for the end or for... a non random time to expose it
[23:24] < moreysurf8> OMG...IT'S ACTUALLY A VILLAGE
[23:25] < RD_Sleep> And then the anachronism twist...
[23:25] < RD_Sleep> Was so inane and shitty that it made me laugh. =[
[23:25] < Erikson> what are you talking about rd
[23:25] < RD_Sleep> [23:23] < RD_Sleep> And then the anachronism twist...
[23:25] < Erikson> i dont know that word
[23:25] < RD_Sleep> go to school
[23:26] < moreysurf8> ^
[23:26] < Erikson> never
[23:29] < Erikson> what is the second twist that made you laugh
[23:29] < Erikson> in Village
[23:29] < RD_Sleep> ...the anachronism twist?
[23:30] < Erikson> i thought that was first
[23:31] < RD_Sleep> ...well since it was at the end...
[23:31] < RD_Sleep> ...no?
[23:31] < RD_Sleep> Ever put a DVD on and for some reason it was set to shuffle chapters.
[23:31] < RD_Sleep> That is fucked up.
[23:32] < moreysurf8> NO
[23:32] < Drizzle> No.
[23:32] < Erikson> no

bash.760569

[15:00] < mpphoto> Dortmund, one of 12 cities to host World Cup matches, is anxious to keep prostitutes and their clients off the streets by providing them with discreet places to do business.
[15:00] < Hempathy> prostitution is legal in germany
[15:01] < Marcus^> heh, in "designated areas"
[15:01] < mpphoto> Experts estimate as many as 40,000 prostitutes may travel to Germany to offer their services to fans during the tournament.
[15:01] < Hempathy> lol prostitute exodus
[15:01] < mpphoto> "let my bitches go"

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